It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia: A Day at the Hoofball Game
by Coyotek4
Summary: After 5 , the Mane 6 have been to Manehattan 3 times, Canterlot a number of times, and countless other locales ... but despite numerous mentions, no tales exist of the group traveling to Fillydelphia. This story takes place shortly before the end of Season 2. Suffice to say, it is an experience that no one shall soon forget.
_6:30 PM_

 _On a Sunday_

 _Ponyville Station_

[Spike] "They're supposed to be on the next train in, right?

[Big Mac] "Yeup."

[Sp] "I still can't believe they got to go to that game. WE'RE the hoofball fans, it's not fair that _they_ all got to go … right?"

[BM] "Nope."

[Sp] "What? Well … yeah, they _were_ a gift from Princess Celestia and all. Still, it would've been awesome to be there live, right?"

[BM] "Yeup."

[Sp] "To think. Baltimare Colts versus the Fillydelphia Gryphons. I sure hope the Colts won. You think the Colts won?"

[BM] "Nope."

[Sp] "Yeah, I know, ever the optimist, you. Well, I got faith that … oh, is that their train?"

Seconds later, the train pulls into the station. Various equines begin filling out. Many appear revolted from a particular spectacle on the train.

[Sp] "Well, I got faith that they found a way to pull this one out and … Oh, there you … _are_?

Big Mac gapes at the sight.

[Sp] "Uh … what _happened_ to you ponies?"

 **The Mane 6 vow never to attend a Gryphons game again.**

 **It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia: A Day at the Hoofball Game**

 _12:55 PM, earlier that day._

The Mane 6 are all in the front row at the 50-yard line. From left-to-right: Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash

[RD] "Can you believe it? Front row? 50-yard line? For the Colts? This … is … AWESOME!"

[Ra] "I still cannot _believe_ that all of you had such an interest in going to this, sporting event. Since when have any of _you_ cared so much about hoofball?"

[TS] "Well they _were_ a gift from Princess Celestia. I didn't want to be rude and not accept. Besides, it's good to experience new things."

[AJ] "Anyway, we ain't never been to Fillydelphia before. We been to Manehattan lots of times, and Canterlot is practically a second home for us. Why _haven't_ we visited before now?"

[Fs] "Well, they only recently rebuilt everything back to before the parasprites came by."

[PP] "Yeah, it was like only yesterday. Well really a year or so ago, but it FELT like only yesterday. Good thing Princess Celestia was able to stop those parasprites from doing more damage."

[TS] "And one of the tokens of appreciation she received taking care of that were lifetime passes to all Fillydelphia events. She thought we'd like to see the Colts play, and they only play each other every four years."

[Fs] "And besides, I wouldn't mind seeing the Fillies play."

[RD] "… uh, you're thinking of the wrong sport. Fillydelphia's hoofball team is the Gryphons."

" **G-R-Y, P-H-O, N, S, GRYPHONS!"**

All six turn to their right. Two male ponies are decked out in Gryphons' garb.

[RD] "So … big fans of the Gryphons, huh?"

[Fan #1] "Ever since I was a foal. Name's Macadamia Nut, everyone calls me Mac, and this is Charlie Horse."

[Charlie] **"Colts SUCK!"**

[RD] "Hey now, what's with the attitude?"

[Mac] "Ah, don't mind Charlie. He still hasn't gotten over their last appearance in the championship game."

[Charlie] " **GO BACK TO BALTIMARE, YOU LOSERS!"**

[Mac] "Dude, chill. Why not say 'Hi' to these ladies here."

[Charlie] " _Huh?_ Oh, hey there. Yeah, don't mind me. Like to get psyched up, you know."

[Ra] (aside, to TS) " _For what, a trip to the funny farm?_ "

[Charlie] "Hey, pretty filly … you got _some_ courage coming here wearing Colts' paraphernalia."

[AJ] "I been meaning to ask you 'bout that, Rarity. Since when do YOU own any hoofball jerseys?"

[Ra] "What, _this?_ I made it myself when I learned we were coming here. Gotta dress the part, right?"

[AJ] "You made a jersey for a single trip? You may never even SEE another game in person."

[Ra] "Well, it really wasn't much. Rather simple, really."

[Charlie] "And you put your own name on the back. Like YOU'RE on the team. What a _joke!_ "

[RD] " **NOW LOOK HERE.** "

[Mac] "Sorry for my friend here. Don't mind him." (turning to Charlie) " _Dude, what's your problem?_ "

[Charlie] "It's an unwritten rule, dude. It's just lame to wear a jersey with your own name, unless you actually played."

[Mac] "Well she probably didn't know that. Be nice, dude. It's not like we got a lot of female friends, you know."

[Charlie] (aside, to Mac) " _Oh please, I know what YOU want._ "

[Mac] (aside, to Charlie) " _Yeah, so don't mess it up, huh?_ "

Conversations end, as starting lineups are announced and kickoff is imminent.

[AJ] "Still can't believe they wouldn't allow us to bring in all the food we packed."

[Ra] "I got enough bits for all of us. Don't worry about the cost, dear."

[AJ] "It's the principle of the whole thing. Four bits for a can of water? _Ten_ bits for some watered-down cider? It just ain't right."

[Ra] "What _really_ isn't right is Pinkie Pie thinking she could bring her _party cannon_ into the stadium."

[PP] "Hey, how ELSE are we supposed to party around here? It's like this city doesn't even WANT to have fun!"

[TS] "You'll get your cannon back when we leave. It shouldn't be a problem."

[Fs] "Ooo, look. They're about to start."

An announcer addresses the crowd over the PA system.

[announcer] "The Gryphons win the coinflip and elect to receive."

A ball sails into the air, and the game commences.

 _1:50 PM_

[announcer] "At the end of the 1st quarter, it's the Gryphons 3, Colts 0."

[Ra] "Is anypony hungry? I hear this place has the most incredible pretzels."

[PP] "Ooo, ME, ME, ME!"

[AJ] "Thanks Rarity. Yeah, I'd like to try one of those pretzels. I hear they're real soft and salty."

[Ra] "Not at all. _Oh pretzel-pony!_ "

A vendor comes down the aisle with pretzels and other assorted foods.

[vendor] "Pretzels! Nachos! Hot dogs! Ice-cold cider!"

[Ra] "We'd like 6 pretzels, please."

[vendor] "That'll be 30 bits, please."

30 bits float over to the vendor, and 6 pretzels float back to the Mane 6.

[Ra] "Wow, these look quite … _cozy?_ "

[AJ] " _5 bits_ for this? That ain't _right!_ "

[PP] "Oh I'm sure they make up for it in taste." (eats the whole pretzel in one bite)

[TS] "So? How was it?"

[PP] "Um … _very_ tasty. And, _cozy_. Yep. Tasty and cozy. _Taste-ozy!_ "

[AJ] (after eating hers in one bite) "They're good and all, but not worth 5 bits each."

[RD] "Well, thanks again for paying for all that, Rarity! We owe ya."

[Ra] "Oh, it was nothing." (to herself) "Or _pretty much_ nothing, for five bits each."

[Mac] "So … Rainbow Dash, right? Where are you ladies from?"

[RD] "Ponyville. I'm originally from Cloudsdale, myself."

[Mac] "Oh yeah, Cloudsdale. I remember when they were in the running for hosting the Equestria Games. Man, that was a great memory for me growing up."

[RD] (darkly) "Yeah, I'm _sure_ it was."

[Mac] "To think, the _Equestria Games_ were held in Fillydelphia. It was just some an awesome time for our city."

[RD] "Yeah … _your_ city."

[Mac] "Hey, I'm just ribbing ya. Nothing personal."

[Charlie] "And don't forget, we got the hurricane record too."

[RD] "Really? You want to go there, _too_?"

[Charlie] "Hey, some towns are just better than others, am I right?"

[RD] "So was that _before_ , or _after_ , the parasprite invasion?"

[TS] "RAINBOW DASH!"

Mac and Charlie stare at Rainbow Dash, looking aghast at the comment.

[RD] "Oh … uh, sorry. I didn't mean to … you know, after all that …"

[Mac] "No, we shouldn't have brought up the Equestria Games or anything like this. Truce?"

[RD] (smiling sheepishly) "Yeah … truce."

[Mac] "Look, let me make things right. Next refreshments you all get are on us."

[Fs] "Wow, thank you _so_ much."

[Mac] "No problem at all."

[Charlie] (aside, to Mac) " _Seriously, dude._ "

[Mac] (aside, to Charlie) " _Hey, maybe at least ONE of 'em will come cheap._ "

 _2:45 PM_

Halftime is about over, and the 2nd-half kickoff is about to commence. The Colts are now leading 14-3.

The Mane 6 snack on oat-filled hot dogs and cider, courtesy of Mac. After some early tension, everypony is enjoying the game.

A ball sails into the air as the announcer makes the call over the PA system.

[announcer] "… and it's fielded by Crazy Hooves at the 15. He's at the 20, the 30, two Gryphons miss tackles … Crazy Hooves is going to take it all the way for a Colts' **touchdown!** "

Loud groans spring up all over the stadium.

[Charlie] " **AW,** _ **COME ON**_ **ZEBRAS! HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT BLOCK IN THE FLANK?** "

[Fs] "I don't see any _zebras_ on the field."

[TS] (aside, to Fluttershy) " _I think 'zebra' is a nickname for—_ "

[Charlie] " **Really? Are you THAT stupid?** "

[RD] " _WHAT THEY HAY, CHARLIE?_ "

[Fs] "It's OK, Rainbow Dash. No need to get angry with anypony."

[RD] "No, it's _NOT_ OK. Charlie, you owe my friend an apology."

[Charlie] "Oh, and Mac doesn't for giving you pork dogs?"

Fluttershy instinctively spits out her food upon hearing this.

[Mac] " **DUDE!** "

[Charlie] "Oh _please_ , you were just hoping to hook up with some filly."

[AJ] "Aww, _horse-apples_. I _knew_ those dogs tasted off."

[Fs] "I've … been eating … _other animals._ "

[Mac] "I told you they were all granola-girls! Thanks a lot."

[PP] "Hey, WHAT'S WRONG WITH GRANOLA? IT'S ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS, AND GOOD FOR YOU TWO, AND … wait, _'hook up'_?"

[Ra] "Why, you were buying us food in the thought that … one of _US_ would … EWWW!"

[Mac] "Oh, get over yourself, ya donkey!"

Mac tosses his cider at Rarity, splattering her, Applejack, and Twilight.

[Ra] " _AAAAAH, MY OUTFIT!_ "

[PP] "WHAT IS YOUR **PROBLEM** , YOU GUYS!"

[TS] "Girls … let's just go now. No need to take any more. We don't need to stick around any longer, anyway."

[Charlie] "Yeah, _take a hike_. We don't need stinkin' Colts fans here, anyway."

[RD] "Uh, Fluttershy? You OK?"

Fluttershy walks past Rainbow Dash and confronts Mac and Charlie.

[Fs] "Ruin my day … **I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!** "

Fluttershy proceeds to beat the **everliving tar** out of the antagonistic male ponies. After 30 seconds, Rainbow Dash pulls Fluttershy off their broken bodies.

[RD] "Let's go. _Now._ "

Amidst the booing from the crowd and small fight popping up throughout the stadium, the Mane 6 bolt from their seats and make their way back to the main entrance.

[TS] " _Fluttershy!_ … Where did THAT come from!"

[Fs] "I don't know … just the thought that they got me to eat … _living_ … _creatures_ … I could just …"

[RD] "Thrash them within an inch of their _life_. Pretty _awesome!_ "

[TS] "NO. **NOT** awesome. That's **not** who we are. We don't solve problems like this."

[AJ] "Can we discuss this once we're on the train back to Ponyville."

[PP] "Just gotta get my cannon before we go."

By this point, the Mane 6 are back at the main entrance to the stadium, stop running, and start walking towards the exit leading to the train station. Pinkie Pie stops at the coat-check counter.

[clerk] "Describe your coat, please."

[PP] "It's not a coat, silly. It's a cannon. Oh there! I see it, it's right there."

[clerk] *sigh* "Sign here, please."

One minute later, and Pinkie has her cannon in tow. As she meets up with the others, Mac and Charlie come racing through the main aisle towards them.

[Mac] " **GET THEM! THEY NEARLY KILLED US** "

[PP] "HEY, _YOU BOTH_ STARTED THIS. BUT I DON'T HOLD GRUDGES. YOU TWO JUST NEED SOMETHING TO PUT SMILES ON YOUR FACES!"

Pinkie lights her cannon.

[AJ] " _PINKIE, WAIT! I PUT ALL OUR FOOD IN-_ "

 ***KA-BOOM!***

After the smoke from the explosion clears, Mac, Charlie, and a dozen other bystanders are covered in smoky, exploded food parts.

[TS] "Uh, girls? Let's not tell Princess Celestia what we learned today."

[Spike] "Wow … well I don't know, but I'd say you got off easier than you could have."

[RD] " _You call being tied to a wall while the entire stadium got to fire garbage from Pinkie's cannon at us 'getting off easy'?_ "

[Spike] "Well … at least they gave you back the cannon."

[Ra] "With Pinkie _crammed into it_ , yes."

[PP] "Well THAT was a unique experience."

[AJ] "I'll say."

[Fs] "I guess I owe Iron Will some money."

[TS] "You know what girls? I think there IS a lesson to be learned today."

[Ra] "That we all need a long bath?"

[PP] "That cannons should only fire confetti?"

[TS] "No, no, no. We all went through hay today, but we still stuck together. And that's what true friends do. They're there for each other, no matter _what_ happens."

[Spike] "So … do you see yourself heading back to Fillydelphia?"

 **NOOOOOOO!**

…

[TS] "Well … not any time soon."


End file.
